After being hurt by narcissists we are tentative, and if we are honest with ourselves and into self-responsibility and self-development we we have had a tendency to attract and co-create abusive relationships. Please know this is not gender specific; these characters could be Jeff and Daniel – it’s just that women ask me about the dating question more often than men! As a result she had let go of the narcissists in her life (a partner and some family members and friends), detached completely, stopped trying to force these people to “love her better” and met and faced herself to do the deep inner work with the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program on these inner childhood wounds.

“Every person I meet I find myself psycho-analysing them – trying to work out whether they are a narcissist or not. ” This is such a huge topic and of course ultimately it is healthy to want to create a love relationship, whether we have been abused or not. This topic is such a big one (there are many components), this is the first of a two part series.

Cut ties with your ex if possible (this is a bit more complicated if you have children with them).

If that’s not possible, create a safety plan for when you have to interact with them.

Starting over and dating after abusive relationship can be daunting but providing you have recovered sufficiently and rebuilt your self-esteem, know your own strengths and what you need from a relationship, there is no need to avoid meeting new people.

Abusive relationships, whether physically or mentally abusive, or both, are terrible, and getting out of one can seem like a huge relief.