What are my options now that bar hook-ups and morning walks-of-shame aren't a possibility? I want to start a collection of single dad friends. Nah, I may be a 36 year old, mini-van driving, suburban-dwelling, grey-root showing, laugh-line flashing, soccer mom of 3, but I've got decades of fun ahead of me and a heart filled with hope!I have no interest in life as a cougar, so college bars are out. My warnings are more specific and scarier: "Assume everyone you chat with online is a naked, 60 year old, fat man with no hair on his head, plenty of hair bursting from his ears, and breath that smells like something is rotting deep inside him." That visual pops into my own head every time I interact with someone on social media. What if I turn my head to sneeze and he roofies my drink? I guess, I'll have to try dating the old-fashioned way for now.Plus my bedtime is , and it would be a lot of work to avoid bright lights and hide my grey roots and wrinkles. I have no desire to squander a night with a naked, fat, 60 year old man who whacks off while playing Club Penguin. Serial Killers scare me even more than Internet Predators. What if he wants to "escort" me to my mini-van and no one is around to hear me scream when he grabs me and stuffs my body into his trunk? As a single mother, I'm worried my only prospects on will be single dads. My friend's mother's hairdresser has a single son who, according to her, would be perfect for me.I'm not desperate enough to hit the country line-dancing bar. Ever since my oldest child joined Club 7 years ago and the internet with its lurking predators invaded my home, I've warned my kids to never trust anyone online. While my imaginary internet predator gives me dry heaves, I would seriously panic if I showed up for a date, and he was actually young, fit and attractive. We all know young, fit, attractive men on dating websites are serial killers. What if he learns that I love to run, suggests we go running and pushes me off a cliff? However, there is this rather nice gent I've taken a fancy to...

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